Ready or Not; I am ready

The beginning of a new path.
The past 10 years, I worked in a job I had dreamed about being.  I became a flight attendant at 27, when I was still so ancy and addicted to traveling even after 2 years of living in other countries.  Having this job satisfied my ancy-ness. I truly never knew what was going to happen when I would show up to work.  I expected I would meet new people and have fun.  It was fast paced and intense which I loved! 
​My people skills became fine tuned, which I am proud of and grateful for.  I grew as a person and as a professional.  I became incredibly adaptable, because of this job I became so incredibly solution oriented.  It was also an amazing playground to play with manifesting powers.  
The first 5 years were AMAZING.  When I lived in Australia I would say that was the best time of my life.  Then when I became a flight attendant, that became the best time of my life.  
Slowly things became less interesting.  The problems became more boring.  It was always the same “type” of person that had particular issues.  Sometimes dealing with the issues was as if on auto pilot.  The hardest part of the job was always difficult crew members.  Which I am so grateful that it was very rare.  The stress was high.  I never did get used to the level of stress.  Then when we were bought by another company, my heart broke.  They were different.  It felt like they wanted to break us - not take what was amazing about us and integrate it.  The company was very micromage oriented, and this increased my stress.  I became resentful, and some negative habits began to creep in.  I didn’t notice it for a while, even when occasionally people would comment on it “sounds like you are done with this job”, I thought that was rude, why would they say that?  
Over time my health began to noticeably deteriorate as well.  I knew it was because of the job: high stress, sleeping horribly, often not sleeping at all, being only in blue light sometimes all of the sunlight hours, not getting any time outdoors or to exercise several days in a row often….  Eating pretty bad, and always at restaurants.  And I was so unhappy with my life when I was home.  I was gone too often to create or invest in what I wanted.  I felt like I was only recovering and then filling in the holes with my friends and family.  While I still had a lot of fun on my layovers.  It was very much a double life, which I enjoyed, but did not like that people at home did not get it.  I quit talking about flying all together.  I didn’t enjoy talking about the challenging moments to people in my “normal life” nor did I enjoy talking about the amazing parts, like staying in 5 star resorts, having a ton of fun with my crew, eating at amazing restaurants, I just felt like a jerk to talk about this so casually.  But this was my life.  All of my flight attendant friends felt the same way.
I began to grow in coaching and personal growth.  I began to see results, this became a big passion.  And yet, I was feeling alienated because of it.  I wanted to talk about deep soul desires, and our shadow aspects.  Other people were like “ahh you just need another drink!”
I was slowly and yet very quickly outgrowing my old life.  Until my health issues became such a big deal that I felt suffocated by my job, and I was just managing…. And then one day I just couldn’t.  I collapsed, luckily at home, but I could not get out of bed.  Now I know, this was my body saying “you are finished.”
I had always seen myself as very healthy, learning and improving my health was always a passion, so this came as a big shock to me.  I did not understand to what depth flying was bad for my health.  And also that I was ready for the next path, the next phase of life.  Although scared.  I wanted to keep flying in my back pocket and evolve as a coach… But I wasn’t really leaping.  Somehow the security of having flying to fall back on was actually a cap instead of a safety net.  Today, March 2, 2022 is the day that I am officially finished.  And I am ready for this new path.
I feel the same as arriving to a new country that I am going to live in for a year.  It's the same feeling, a little nervous, a lot excited, a good amount of overwhelm, along with lots of deep breaths, and baby steps. 
“What is the next step now?”
So world.  I am ready for the next path.  I am ready to shine in a new capacity, and serve in a different way.  I feel the dreams of workshops, seminars, and truly transforming people’s lives so much more palpable than ever before.  And I also feel things that I cannot yet see.  I am excited and I am ready. 
And I also want to reflect that I didn’t see (until now) how my clinging to what I thought was an amazing back up plan was actually a gigantic block.  And now that the block is removed, I feel increased life force, some sadness, and optimism as I close this amazing chapter, and begin to create a new chapter of my life.
I want to share some of the biggest lessons that still stand out to me from flying, as I do believe this line of work is fairly unusual.
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- For the most part people are good.  People love to help others.  It was very heartwarming to see someone happily switch seats so that a family could sit together, or to jump in to help someone elderly.  This was a beautiful lesson that I am grateful for.  Before flying I thought on the whole people were dumb and didn’t care.  Thankfully I was proved to be wrong.

- When people are jerks, they are being like that to everybody else in their life too.  Can you imagine what it would feel like to have so many people really not like you?  No wonder they are jerks!  I would often say “these people are just having a bad life.”

- You really never know what is going on with the other person. 
I never forgot this man.  He was a boy to me.  He must have been about 19.  He was rude and adding to my stress to meet the company's (unrealistic) expectation of on time door closure.  He had too many bags, I told him I would have to check one, he said “fine!” as he threw them all on the floor.  It was actually in my best interest to keep all of his bags in the plane - to minimize potential issues with him, and to get on time door closure (and avoid reprimand).  I was able to figure it out, I found space for each of his bags.  Then at the end of the flight his seat mate told me what had just happened.  Both of his parents had just died in a car accident over the weekend.  I felt so horrible, this still brings me to tears.  This boy has no idea the lesson he taught me.  You truly do not know what is going on with the other person.  Similar stories to this happened many times over the years.

- A high school boy asked if he could pray for me.  It was the sweetest thing.  At that time, I had recently become interested in learning about Jesus, I was big into manifesting.  And Jesus is still the best manifester that has walked our planet.  And so because of that I understood what a sweet gesture that was.  I was honored.

- The many times of laughing hysterically with my crew members.  

- That I have the ability to be ready in 5 minutes.  I am grateful to know the right hairstyle. 
- Red lipstick is magic.

- How quickly you can manifest. It's AMAZING.

- How having a structured journal practice really increased my happiness and life satisfaction, as I think it would also provide the same for you!  This was so foundational once I started.

- The better you get, the better life gets.
Complaining is an addiction.  While working in such a fast paced high stress environment my crew actually did not want to be around me as much when I committed myself to “the no complaint challenge.”  This is an amazing challenge, it will change your life.  Read the book: A Complaint Free World.

In the vision of my perfect life, I wanted to keep flying as a back up as I pursued my new career, but the universe had other plans for me.  It was painful to let this old dream die.  Finally I was ok with my new path, that I would not have flying as an option anymore.  And truthfully I do not want it in my life in any form (now).  Flying is so incredibly bad for your health.  As I learned intimately, and then as I did research to figure out how to heal my invisible illness, I learned the science behind why.  You can do your research to understand mitochondrial health if you are interested in understanding for yourself, and please reach out to me to get my play list of incredible content each video gave me a new rabbit hole to research as I continued to piece things together.

I had already known for a long time because of channeling, that when you take to long to upgrade the universe is forced to step in, and kick you out from your old / present life.  The universe may do this with health issues, as was the case for me, it might also happen in a series of bad things happening, or lots of things just not working out.  It will usually show up in the way that is most painful to you, as that is the way that you are most likely to pay attention and take action.  Yes it does suck very much to be going through it.  I knew this is what was happening, and I was still struggling, and so attached to my old dream.  So you see just because someone is a coach, does not mean they are an expert at letting go and moving on.  Its hard when its your life.  And I also think this experience has made me a better coach.  Better at holding space, better at working with and allowing of what you are or are not ready for.
Thank you for reading, this post helped me to celebrate, commemorate, and move forward with excitement.  I hope this inspires you to take some leaps when they present themselves.  You do not have to change your life all at once, and sometimes when you take too long to make the change you know you are being called to, life will do what it needs to to squeeze you out of the stuck place.  I know it's uncomfortable, I know when you try too hard to stay in what does not work anymore, it will feel like life sucks.  But the truth is, you are taking too long to make the important upgrade changes that you need to make.  Just as I was.  Ready or not; I am ready now. 
Good by flying,
​hello 100% committed to coaching and the personal growth industry!

Sending love,
Jessica