Recognizing Limitations & Filling your Cup

Hello,

This article is more of a reflection or journal entry. 

 I have a tendency to push myself way too hard, but normally the push back I get is simply exhaustion.  Coming from a work-a-holic with a super woman mom, I still think I can do everything, and often try.  I often think/wish I had 48 hours in a day, or wish I didn't need to sleep, and many times schedule my day as such.  I see myself as a good friend, and yet rarely expect or even put my own needs out there.  I know so many of us, especially women do this.  I just had a big weekend, where I worked, tried to be there for my friend beyond my capacity, slept poorly every night, part of work was going to Sacramento, which triggered my allergies (I am crazy sensitive).  And now I am having either the worst allergic reaction I have ever heard of, or I am actually REALLY sick.

What is the point of all this?  Well  I need to take an even bigger step back than I have already been trying to do.  But really my trying to chill out, is a laundry list of things still.  Things that would make my working days easier.  Its more so a struggle, of I WILL relax now (I hope you get the forcefulness) and but if I just get this stuff done, then my list will be finished.  And then something big like this happens, where I literally can't do anything.  I am recognizing how I need to learn what my boundaries are, even if they change, and communicate them.

I can see how this directly relates to money.  The belief that if I don't work I won't get money is showing up.  I can see how my sense of value is tied to doing, achievements, and giving.  And is that true?  NO!  If I don't work one day, or even take a long stretch off, I am still going to be ok.  And the truth is that I, and all of you, are just as valuable and important if you achieve or give, or not.

I guess the trick would be to find more things to give, that fill you up to give.  For example writing this article, and writing in general is fulfilling to me.  Whether or not anybody reads this, I am still feeling fulfilled, by being expressive.  I do hope people read this, AND feel inspired by this.  But its ok if that doesn't happen.

Also, I can see how I struggle to be selfish, and fill my own cup.  I can see how so many people around me also struggle with the same thing.  And the result of that is that they need their cup filled by somebody else.  OH!  I just had the realization that the need to get your cup filled never goes away.  If you don't learn how to fill your own cup, you will figure out (subconsciously) how to get somebody else to fill it, or forever try.  I am seeing very plainly how I think this process is taking forever, and I don't want to need to fill my cup anymore. But its true, the times that my own cup has been full, it feels good to give, and doesn't cost me anything (energy), where as when I give from a place of feeling depleted, holy cow that is even more draining.  AND the people that do call you selfish, are actually telling you that they are mad at you for not filling their cup.  WOW! Big realization.

Now, in what ways do you push yourself too hard?

How could you increase your daily practice of filling your own cup? 

There are plenty of free things, as well as expensive ones, the key is to discern what will bring you the greatest fulfillment.  I believe the little things are the most powerful, so:
​What can you do during your drive that would fill your cup?  What can you do while at work that would fill your cup?  How can you dress more authentically to fill your own cup?  I do believe the key is in the little things.  Just like when you want to change a habit, or when saving money, its the baby steps that make the biggest difference.

So the rest of my day will be spent picking apart what I can do to increase the things I do to fill my own cup.  And if that means doing nothing, then that's what it'll be!
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